How to Get Someone to Like You Again How to Get Someone to Like You as a Friend

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Nobody can be liked by everybody, just sometimes information technology'southward important for your social life or your career to go more likeable. And information technology's possible. Channel your inner social jiujitsu master and get nearly anyone to similar you. Condign more liked might but be every bit easy as taking some extra interest in their life and interests!

1. 1

   Ask people about themselves. Be interested in them. What conversation is better than with a person who is genuinely interested in what you are saying? If y'all are in a chat and hear yourself proverb "I did this, I did that," finish yourself. Ask the other person'southward stance. Conversations are two-fashion streets!

   • It is e'er better to mean what you are saying. People know when you have false humility. Setting out to show interest in people about whom y'all really don't care just for the sake of gaining popularity doesn't work in the long run, so go the sort of person who is truly interested in others! If a particular topic is actually hard for you to feign interest, steer the conversation in a dissimilar direction.
   • Remember—people enjoy existence effectually someone who is engaged, interactive, and honest. Be genuine and authentic to yourself, identify your interests and values, and align yourself with people who share them.

2. two

   Inquire for a favor. This one may sound kind of funny if you're not familiar with it -- it's a technique known as the "Benjamin Franklin Consequence." Basically, you ask for a favor, the other person does it for you, y'all give thanks them, and they terminate up liking you more than. Yous'd think that the person having something done for them would like the other, but information technology'southward not so. And so the next time y'all feel the need to borrow something, don't hesitate to ask!

   • The idea here is that anybody likes being useful and everyone prefers to take someone indebted to them -- instead of having debts to others. They gain a sense of ability and purpose from y'all, causing them to similar you lot more.^[i] Just don't do it all the fourth dimension -- besides many favors and you get pesky.

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3. iii

   Talk nigh what interests the other person. If you know their hobbies or passions, inquire! This will commonly get them going non-end and take the heat off y'all! They will go on and on feeling like yous 2 are having an epic chat when actually you've been resigned to nodding because you can't become a word in edgewise. If you tin can recall something they mentioned in passing, they'll be doubly impressed.

   • Take opportunities to use their name. People love hearing their proper noun. Equally Dale Carnegie puts it, to them it is the sweetest audio in the entire language.^[2] It validates them and subsequently they feel reassured and happier. If yous can slip it in, practise so.
   • E'er be aware of people who are speaking and listen to what they have to say without interrupting. It's totally okay to disagree with them, only brand certain that you're polite and respectful of other people'due south viewpoints while existence honest near your own.

4. 4

   Be empathetic. Pretty straightforward and logical, huh? But oddly enough, even though humans (on some level) know this, information technology'due south then much easier non to do information technology. Nosotros're all concerned with me, me, me and waiting for the side by side time we can add to a conversation. To amplify your likeability, plow the spotlight over to the other person. Focus on understanding them.

   • A simple plow of phrase can do the trick. Allow's say someone is explaining to y'all a contempo problem of theirs. Your automatic response is, "I understand how you feel." That should seem adequately harmless, right? But you've just put the focus on you lot and your abilities -- and what's more than, the other person may be thinking, "No. Yous don't." Instead, opt for something less clichéd (and thus more meaningful, fifty-fifty if it is ultimately self-serving) like, "So you feel like Ten, 10, and 10." Just reiterating what they're saying will brand them feel paid attention to and, well, proficient.
   • Information technology'southward important to always exist open and accepting of others. Acting airtight-off can make you seem judgmental, which will deter people from wanting to engage with you.

5. 5

   Flatter them. Some other one that seems really obvious. Unfortunately, paying others compliments sometimes can be awkward (lots of people don't know how to handle them!) and seem as if you lot have ill motivations (a relationship, for example). For starters, get over yourself. Anybody loves it. Well, a genuine, well-timed one, at least!

   • Make certain your flattery is purposeful and appropriate. If someone clearly had a rough dark and notwithstanding has the grime on their pare from the flooring of a neglected public bathroom, don't tell them how beautiful they await. Compliments need to be genuine in order to be appreciated and taken seriously.
   • Telling a guy that y'all like his tie is well and good, but what would he say dorsum? "Cheers, information technology was made by children in a far away manufacturing plant and I had nothing at all to do with information technology?" Okay, so he probably won't say that, but you become the point. Compliment him on his awesome Powerpoint presentation, his sense of humor, something that matters to him or something that he actually worked on. He'll love the validation.

6. six

   Embarrass yourself. Once we accomplish the ripe ol' age of about 5 i/2, nosotros beginning realizing that society is looking at us 24/7 and sure behaviors are viewed as just wrong and welcome in scrutiny. Since humans tin can't stand scrutiny, nosotros avert it like the plague. Unfortunately, those embarrassing moments still happen to all of us, so when we see it happen to someone else, we feel their hurting. And that person? We like them more for it.^[3]

   • When you lot see someone, allow's say, caught with their pants down, in that location is an automatic reaction on both of your parts. The pant-less probably laughs (hopefully), turns a little red, possibly cracks a joke, shakes their caput, face-palms, and tries to go about their twenty-four hour period with a shred of dignity. What take they done? They've shown you that they are man. They brought down a peg and acknowledged it by their behavior. That'due south likeable. They're real.
     • Let's say the same state of affairs happened once again, but with a different person. This time they go along a stoic confront, situates their drawers support, gives a terse nod, and goes on their way. Non at all endearing. Their behavior didn't accept their embarrassment and therefore there'south nothing to chronicle to, to empathise with, or to observe charming. Not likeable in the slightest.

7. 7

   Touch them. Straight upward, if you desire to feel a connectedness with a person, you touch them. Plainly every relationship is dissimilar and thus different levels of touching are good -- merely in general, it's constructive at establishing a bond.^[4] The slightest one will do!

   • Imagine greeting someone briefly as you walk by with a quick "Hi." Information technology was a fleeting moment where it seemed as if you didn't take time for the other person. Now, imagine the same scenario where you walk past quickly, requite a curt hi, but y'all lightly touch their shoulder. Bam! Physical connection. Focus. You lot're on their radar -- like, like, and like.

8. 8

   Brand them feel expert. Another big duh, huh? The overarching theme of this article is really simply making the other person feel proficient. Information technology'due south how you do information technology where the options come up in. Every person is a bit unlike, only nosotros all share similar qualities. We all want attention, to exist happy, and to feel like nosotros're cared for and useful. And for those people that gives us those things, we like them.

   • It's best to use a number of tactics to accomplish this. Just flattery, or just asking for favors, or just smile won't do information technology. You've got to sprinkle them all in. If you go on the focus on them, that should prep you for action -- asking questions (attention), complimenting (building them up), looking for advice (making them experience wise and purposeful), and showing empathy (existence cared for). When they feel good about themselves, they'll feel proficient about you.

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1. ane

   Grinning. The absolute simplest mode to get people to like you is to smile genuinely. People require being around others that are fun and happy because it's contagious -- you'll brand them feel proficient simply by being present. Smiling is the showtime indicator (and the most obvious) that you are a person they probably want to exist around. Smile and you're in.

   • Remember, if you lot deed like you are happy, y'all'll probably feel happier. Don't force a fake grinning -- others will exist able to detect it -- simply do know that if you're in not then dandy of a mood, sometimes faking information technology tin fool your listen into feeling better.

2. 2

   Use a comfortable level of heart contact. This one hopefully comes naturally. Eye contact is one of the simplest ways to show someone you're paying attending. When you're watching TV, you expect at it, right? So when you're talking to someone, shouldn't y'all exercise the same thing?

   • Likewise little eye contact can be seen as rude. Where else are you looking at? What is distracting yous? Why isn't the conversation at hand adept enough to warrant your attending? If this is a problem of yours, simply exist enlightened of it. That'due south all y'all need to alter it!
   • Too much eye contact can brand the other uncomfortable. It may come off as you staring the person down. If you lot're aware that intense centre contact is a problem of yours, get in a point to fidget once in a while. Odds are the conversation also involves hands, food, or another thing to draw your attending away -- but but briefly.

3. 3

   Tilt your caput towards the other person. The scientific discipline behind this ane is that evolutionarily, tilting our head exposes our carotid artery, telling the other person that we aren't looking for a fight.^[v] Somewhere in the depths of our brains, it cues the states that the person we're talking to isn't a threat and that we can proceed comfortably.

   • Tilting the head avoids a "squaring off" stance. It'due south softer, has a sympathetic flair, and tells the other that your focus is on them -- something everyone admittedly adores to accept. So the next fourth dimension yous're unsure what stance to have, tilt abroad. Information technology's a catch-all, really.

4. iv

   Give a quick eyebrow flash. This may be one of the non-verbal cues you're not even aware of. So maybe you already do it! A common sign to testify friendliness (and, again, that you're not-threatening) is to do a quick eyebrow flash -- just moving them upwardly and downwards slightly and speedily. It's by and large done upon approaching a person and can be seen from far distances.^[6]

   • Combine this with a grinning and y'all have the basic set up for any likeable, approachable human. But keep the eyebrow flash to the initiation of a chat -- it's not something to exist used at random intervals, like the head tilt may be.

5. 5

   Mirror their positioning. If you find yourself in the same trunk position as someone else, odds are you're probably on similar trains of thought.^[7] You probably do this with those effectually y'all more often than you lot realize. The skilful news here is that you tin utilize information technology to your advantage! People like people who are like to them, and this is ane very easy fashion to practise it.

   • If y'all're talking to a person and they're in a similar body position to you, yous're likely to feel like they're on the same folio equally y'all are -- and are thus understanding and relate-able (score). Do this in conversation but don't draw attention to it -- if information technology's too noticeable, it'll seem contrived and unnatural.

6. 6

   Don't assert your authority. Many books you read will tell you to square your shoulders, throw your chin up, and always go on a firm handshake. While these are definitely good ideas and have their identify, in some situations yous may not want to come up off as strong. Keep these confidence indicators, but throw in a few I-conspicuously-respect-yous signals to fifty-fifty the playing field.

   • Whomever you run into, showing a footling deference won't hurt yous. If yous're meeting someone and most shake easily, step frontward to them and lean in a little (alluding to a bow). Tilt your head, go along an open body position (not always crossing artillery and legs, namely), and lean to ane side or the other. Showing you're relaxed and interested in the other person will cue them to like yous regardless of the chat level.

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1. 1

   Spend time with people who improve your paradigm. Unfortunately, all humans look for quick, go-to signals to jump to judgments of the people they meet. No, it's not ever accurate, merely nosotros all do information technology considering it's easy and relatively painless. We see a situation and we assess it on its outward appearance automatically. If nosotros don't like it, we write it off. So when you're beingness judged, know that it's not just you, it's what you come with.

   • This is sort of a squeamish manner to say...well, that you lot're judged by the people around you, too. If your friends are all evil-smelling trolls only you're not, you take chances being lumped in the evil-smelling troll category, regardless. This is especially true for Facebook -- the prettier your Facebook friends are, the prettier you seem to be.^[8] No, it's non right, only it is real.

2. 2

   Dress to impress. Y'all know how they say "dress for the chore yous desire, not the job yous accept?" It'south like that. Apparel for the image you want people to see, not how you feel or what you are. People are hands fooled by wear. "The clothes brand the man," right? How many more figures of speech do you need?

   • In a recent study, wearing brand names was shown to raise one's perceived status. Quality of clothing didn't matter, merely slapping on a luxury label made participants view the wearer as high-status and, on a related note, more likeable.^[9] It's another cue that humans jump to for a quick answer to a person. It may not be fool-proof (or the correct thing to do), just it's like shooting fish in a barrel.

3. 3

   Practise something to be remembered. This one tin can't get super specific considering whatever you do has to fit your personality, simply having a "thing" tin make yous likeable. You'll be memorable, take a concrete identity (or then they think), and people volition be able to get a grip on you. "Hey! That'southward the guy with the parrot! I beloved that guy!" Something like that.

   • If yous've ever worked in the restaurant industry, you may have a story that relates to this miracle. Recall of the customer that always tips in $2 bills. After a visit or two, the waiters are fighting over him. Why? He has a thing. He's hands remembered, distinguished, and interesting. He's liked.^[10]

4. 4

   Stay under control. Quite obviously, people don't like to be around loose cannons. When they don't know what to expect, they get uncomfortable and tense. Attempt to keep a laid dorsum, calm, and happy attitude, fifty-fifty when something doesn't get your way. People you don't know well may easily get turned off by displays of difficulty, neuroticism, and unwarranted insecurity.

   • That's not to say to hide your emotions! No, no, no. Y'all want to be genuine. If something upsets yous, allow it upset you. If people don't like information technology, well, they won't like information technology. Just before you starting time going off, choose your battles. Is it worth the judgment? If so, go on. If not, reassess your reaction to the state of affairs at hand.

5. five

   Know your audience. Unlike age levels, groups, and types of people are looking for unlike things in friends and partners. The older you lot become, the less phased and dramatic your network should become. Because of this, different personas may be more effective on different people. Know who you're dealing with and what they're looking for.

   • Things are dissimilar in center and high school than they are in the adult world. Information technology pains wikiHow to say it, simply at these ages, you may be improve liked if you're a little mean and selfish. A recent report showed that an individual'due south popularity rose when they were a bit of a bully.^[11] This is considering at that historic period, other kids expect to strength as an example of what's good, not knowing that that'southward not how things piece of work. In short, kids are mean.

6. 6

   Exercise basic rules of hygiene. No one will want to be effectually someone who stinks, literally and metaphorically. And so, take regular showers or baths, launder your hair, shave if you need to, brush and floss your teeth, rummage your hair, apply breath mints or minty gum, clip/clean your nails, apply deodorant, change apparel, clean your hands, etc. Pretty achievable stuff!

   • Remember of this as an investment into yourself. The time it takes to look good (and experience good!) volition warrant you benefits in the future. Not but is it skilful for getting people to similar you, but it's good for your health, as well.

7. vii

   Like yourself. Straight upward, if you don't like you, why should anyone else? That inner negativity will seep through your day-to-day actions and people will see it. And why not similar yourself? You're crawly. At least as crawly every bit the people around y'all.

   • Don't try to be someone you're not; it'll show if you try. Know who y'all are, and adjust these tips to your personality. It pays off in the long run, fifty-fifty if yous march to the trounce of your ain pulsate. Whatever changes you try to force will just wearable abroad with time, then it's best to be natural from the first.

8. eight

   Use your humor. Chances are you accept one, so use it! If you lot can brand a person laugh, you're in! Just be conscientious to make the jokes appropriate to the setting. Offending people is not the goal here -- making them smiling is.

   • If you don't think you're funny, don't worry most trying to exist funny. You probably have a humor that's a bit unlike from the norm. Mayhap you're sarcastic, maybe you're quirky, maybe yous're ridiculously smart -- any of those can be turned into comedic moments. Accept what you have in your kit and run with it. It can be morphed into hilarity.

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• Question

  How practise I become a better conversationalist?

  

  Dr. Sirvart Mesrobian is a Clinical Psychologist based in West Los Angeles and Glendale, California. Specializing in individual, family unit, and couples handling for immature adults and adults. Dr. Mesrobian provides Cerebral Behavioral Therapy, motivational interviewing, trauma-focused treatments, and other services. She earned a Master's in Psychology and a Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.

  

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  Requite people your undivided attention without interrupting or getting distracted. Y'all won't seem engaged in the conversation if y'all're on your phone, interrupting them, or dozing off.

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• Do spend quality time with your friends while making new ones. If you don't, y'all may abound autonomously.

• Existence honest is important. Once you lie to people, they won't believe y'all the next time y'all say something to them.

• Try to be naturally funny every once in a while so your friends will remember information technology.

• Don't discuss controversial topics such equally religion, politics, or abortion, unless you know the person very well.

• Never seem like you are trying to become people to like you. This might plough some people off. The same principle applies every bit in some of the warnings above: try not to be fake about anything.

• Do not hang out with the wrong people. Always hang out with proficient people who show you are a good person to be around.

• Don't e'er talk behind anyone'due south dorsum, friend or foe. Information technology will always get dorsum to them, and you will end upwards being considered a backstabber and people volition avoid you like the plague. You lot will lose the friends you have, and futurity friends you could take made.

• Sometimes people will only not like yous. That doesn't mean no one does though.

• Exist friendly and laugh at people's jokes even if they aren't that funny.

• Don't be sarcastic unless you know the person actually well and you can joke with them.

• Don't go out everyone out. Make sure you give all people attention, even if you don't like them.

• Don't cross your arms or legs. This shows the person that you don't want to be around them and it also suggests that you're airtight off.

• Avoid conflicts, and attempt to be impartial instead of always having to bear witness your right.

• Make sure that your motivation of befriending that person isn't ill or selfish.

• Be kind to your friends. Nobody likes a person who is a jerk to those who intendance the most near them, besides family unit. If you lot are trying to get people to similar you, and then being rude those who already do similar you is the opposite of what you want to exercise. If you are rude to your friends, then you are existence a person who others won't similar, knowing that if they became your friend, they would be treated that manner.

• Don't date someone y'all don't like, even if they are the most pop person in the grade.

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• Don't pretend to like something you lot don't like. Information technology normally ends up in a lost friendship.

• Don't gossip or even participate with a group that is gossiping peculiarly malicious gossip: Walk away. Be the better person!

• When making eye contact with a person, brand certain information technology'south a friendly, circumspect listening grade of eye contact, not the sniper-stare-down kind of eye contact.

• Don't expect too much out of other people. Be aware of how other people may react.

• Don't try to purchase someone's friendship by showering them with gifts. It makes them feel uncomfortable and feel as if they have to reciprocate. Besides, the kind of friend yous would like to have isn't a friend if they base friendship on what you can monetarily give them.

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Article Summary Ten

To get people to like you, smile when you lot're around them to show you're a fun and happy person, which is attractive to others. When you're talking to someone, pay them an appropriate compliment, similar telling them how much you enjoyed their power point presentation or saying you lot similar their humour. Yous could besides attempt asking someone for a small favor, since people similar to feel useful to others. During a chat, endeavor to inquire other people about themselves, because people feel positive towards someone who shows an involvement in their interests and opinions. If you already know a lot about the other person, talk nigh their hobbies or interests, which volition make them feel happy. Since nobody wants to be effectually someone with bad hygiene, make sure you shower regularly, brush your teeth, and clip your nails. For tips on how to employ your sense of sense of humour to go people to similar you, keep reading!

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